Not political- just pissed

I woke up this morning and realized that I no longer have faith in our president or our country’s leaders.
They have simply taken a shortcut one too many times.

When the automobile industry was in trouble- they gave people money for useless cars. When the real estate market was in trouble, they gave first time buyers a huge tax credit. When the banks were in trouble- they bailed them out and allowed them to send their executives on vacation. Sorry I couldn’t resist that last one.

None of our problems are solved. In fact we are looking at a double dip recession. Just take a look at the real estate market which seemed to have bounced back in 2010 is now seeing a 12% dip in the purchase of new homes. In fact, the real estate market never recovered. It simply showed an increase in the spring due to the first time buyer tax credit. These were not “real” numbers and those of us with homes to sell (ME!) are feeling the pain of a country pulverized by economic uncertainty.

I have always been a “rally around the president” type of girl. I love this country. I love it down to the freedom and pride that our flag represents. I love being able to sprout complaints about the good ole U.S. without the fear of being shot. Yet, this time I cannot seem to muster the patriotism needed to back Obama.

To me, Obama has acted like a kid in college who uses cliff notes and encouraged us to do the same. Yes it solves an immediate problem and we may even pass the test. But what have we learned? Even more important – how have we prepared ourselves for the future final?

I fear that this country’s economic reforms may have added to the dissolution of the middle class. The rich will remain rich and the middle class will see their paychecks lower and lower as we provide healthcare and other financial gains to those less fortunate. The heart of America- the blue collar worker, the suburban family, and the stay at home mom- are in danger of moving closer and closer to the poverty line. It is creating a bold line between the poor and the rich with no hopeful area in between. Think it cannot happen? Obama’s administration is leading with an attitude drenched in socialism. Look at the fall of the USSR and its effect on modern day Russia. How well did socialism work for them? EVEN if this leadership only goes as far as to create a two class society- think of England and how if you are born of a certain class you most likely will never escape it. America was founded on free enterprise and the right for each man (or woman) to create his (her) own destiny. I feel these opportunities slipping through my fingers as I become bogged down in an economy that beats down the hardest on the middle class.

My father used to go on tirades about the disappearing middle class and I would roll my eyes. See I never saw it happen as quickly as I have these past two years. Now I think my dad is a genius who saw something in the not too distant future that none of us could have predicted.

I understand economies are cyclical and no one can really control economic growth or recession. Yet, I cannot excuse the frat boy attitude of throwing money at a problem in hopes that it will go away. What did Cash for Clunkers, First Time Buyers Rebate and the Bank Bailout really do to help this country? They simply boasted temporary alliances with Wall Street and the American consumer. Do you know what I expect from my country’s leadership? Hold banks responsible for irresponsible lending and investing. Address healthcare corporations and their escalating costs. Encourage the automobile industry to build safer, cheaper cars so Americans will renew their loyalty to the American brand. Limit free trade to the point that it does not cripple the U.S. Service industries as we continue to outsource more and more jobs to foreign countries. THAT IS WHAT I EXPECT FROM MY COUNTRY!

Really, have we become so politically correct that we have forgotten how to feel outrage?

In closing, I voted for Obama. I saw his radical thinking and charisma as the answer for my generation’s prayer of a JFK (I have long given up on a new “Ronald Reagan” because political differences aside- I think we can all admit that Ronny rocked the Casbah.) His administration excited me. He in himself gave me a reason to think this man may really care and make a difference. The Sarah Palin came along as a possible vice president and that pretty much launched me to the Democratic Party. When you would rather see Tina Fey run for Vice President then the woman she is mimicking there is a problem. Do I have buyer’s remorse? Yes I do. But in all honesty would any administration make any difference?

I could go on and talk about the war in Iraq or the dedication of a Mosque on September 11th, but I fear I would die on the spot of a heart attack. I said to a close friend that if we do not evolve we will become extinct. I still believe that. So where is that leader who will take us there? Help ALL CLASSES evolve while rebuilding this country on the success stories that make the United States unique. To steal a line from the movie the American President, “People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absence of genuine leadership, they'll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand.”

Mr. President please LEAD no matter how hard or tough the direction. If you would rather take the shortcut then please step aside.

The Baby

There are sometimes when a woman loses a pregnancy and there are others when they lose a baby.

I have lost two pregnancies in the past, but just recently I felt the pain of really losing a baby. I love my husband so hard that sometimes it hurts to look at him. I want to crawl inside him just to feel his touch more. He is the man I am destined to be with. He is the man I want to grow a family with.

More than my love for him, it hurts to look at children now. I see children at Target or children at the gym or even children laughing in a car passing by me. Even more so, than seeing strange children it hurts to see those babies I know. Those I have let in my heart. It makes me double over me over to see my family and my friends and their gorgeous children whom I love so.

I was ready for a baby. Greg was ready for a baby. But, God in His infinite wisdom was not ready to give us our baby. I don’t understand why and perhaps I will never understand. I just trust in my faith and in my love for this wonderful man who came into my life.

I have faith and hope and love. Yet, I still do not have the baby I ache for. The baby I bonded with in the minutes I knew I was pregnant. A baby that still makes me mourn – months later. A baby that makes me feels pain even in my fingernails. That is losing a baby. It is losing not just a life, but a dream of what is to come.

I will blog again soon, but right now I just need to cry... Thank you for hanging in there with me.

Nobody