I am in rant mode again. I am really sick of the women who think they should be canonized because they have children. This in NO WAY is a bad reflection on all the wonderful mommies that I know. Rather, a rant against the women who think by rite of a birth or five that they are somehow better than the single women, partnered women and married women who do not have, cannot have or simply choose not to have children.
There are many women like me out there. I am married for the second time, work mad,long hours and yet still find time to take care of my home, my husband and my wonder mutt. I cook from scratch. I enjoy long workouts. I volunteer and pay my taxes. Yet, somehow these "madonnas" feel that I live in some sort of extended adolescence because I do not, as of yet, have a child.
Well, I also have not been dependent on a man since my father. I have owned three (soon to be four) homes which came from little else than my hard work and savings. I have gone on vacations, done home repairs, paid for a second wedding (and honeymoon), and bought the clothes on my own back ALL ON MY OWN. But my life is somehow easier because "I don't have children."
I do not contend that children are easy and I do know from those loving mommies around me that it is indeed a job, but before the mommy mafia comes after me- it also a great privilege, but to hear some women speak, and in many cases the same women who's husbands pay for their mortgage and car, they are a step behind Mother Teresa because of how hard it is to have children.
It is funny to me because I have seen a single mother (God Bless you all) work her hands to the bone and raise a wonderful child with a silent determination that shows me I am not half the woman that she is. I saw a divorced mother slowly introduce her
children to the new man in her life and marveled at her integrity and deep concern she had for her children's well being. I have seen my cousin everyday work hours much like mine yet still have so much energy and love for her son, but have little to no time for herself. I saw a childhood friend balance work and family around her son's battle with cancer. Which, in my opinion, catapults her from a wonderful mother to hero status. Yet, none of these women or any of my beautiful mommy friends have ever demeaned me or looked down upon me as being anything less than them because of my childless status.
Yes, many of the women previously mentioned do realize that this is not my choice, but they are so busy being good mothers that I do not think that makes a difference. They do not view motherhood as an entrance into a secret sorority, rather they look at is as a blessing.
And what if it is a choice? What if some women do not see themselves as maternal or lead lives/ have careers that are not conducive to having children. Should they not be applauded for living independent lives? I mean lets face it we all know women (not to mention seen women on the news) who SHOULD NOT have ever had a child. Are they somehow better than the childless women in this world? I have been a strong single woman and continue to be a strong married woman who would rather live on crackers than ask my husband to loan me twenty dollars. Does this make me weak?
So the next time these "type" of mothers sit themselves down in their husband's chair
in their husband's home and feel the need to vent to another of their own pod
about how women like me have the life-- I ask instead that they have a moment of mercy and send their cleaning lady my way - my chapped, tired and very independent hands could use a break!
